Restoring Trust After an Affair

Even if you start with a dream marriage, without a solid base of trust a marriage can quickly fall apart. Broken trust is one of the main causes for a marriage to end in divorce. While there are numerous things that can affect the trust between partners in a marriage, an affair is most often the one that destroys trust. Trust recovery after an affair is possible, but it is not easy. Regaining broken trust takes time.

In the case of an affair, apologizing is only the first step. Accepting total responsibility for the affair and making drastic changes in your behavior are the only way to begin down the path of restoring the trust that has been lost. Restoring broken trust is often a matter of two steps forward and one step back and is not a process that can be rushed.

You can spend days, weeks or even months trying to convince your spouse that you have changed, but showing them with your actions is the only way that works. Be honest and open with everything you do and don’t give your spouse any reason to think that you are doing anything to compromise your relationship.

Try putting yourself in your spouses shoes and let that guide you in your thoughts and actions. Don’t try to make excuses or justify why you cheated, and when trust is slow in coming, don’t get mad. The honest truth is, at this point in time you are not trustworthy and you will have prove yourself in order to regain your spouses trust.

Only you and your spouse can decide if your marriage is worth the effort of trying to restore the lost trust in your relationship. If you decide that is what you want, marriage counseling is often the best plan of action. An impartial counselor can help you with finding ways to be able to forgive the transgression as well as guiding you in how to regain trust that has been lost.